1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
