i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Houston, we have a squirter
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
