I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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