i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
