we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
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At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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