I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
