Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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