I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize