There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
