Who wears a wallet chain?!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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