I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
