just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
