I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
