I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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