your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
