I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
