she told me i tasted like america
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
