yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
