we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
