We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
