I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
