I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
