we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
