your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize