Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
