is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
