Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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