I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
