He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
