Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
