Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
