I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
