Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
