My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dating After Heartbreak
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.