your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store