Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

how do flat chested girls get laid?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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(757): View more from Virginia

He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.

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(406): View more from Montana

she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

Fav 9 1932 3998
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(620): View more from Kansas

There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos

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(226): View more from Ontario

I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage

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