I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
