But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous