WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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