The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
