College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My ass is underappreciated
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
