She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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