oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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