im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize