Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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