Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
