I'd wear matching sweaters with you
People in love make me want to vomit
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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