Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(410): View more from Maryland

cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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(260): View more from Indiana

spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner

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(904): View more from Florida

he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.

(816): View more from Missouri

...... wtf.

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(519): View more from Ontario

We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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(303): View more from Colorado

They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.

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(310): View more from California

Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

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