I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He did a backflip because drugs
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
