dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i think i just lost a toe
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
