Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
