look no pants
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
