I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
