She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
