O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
