My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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