So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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