Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
