my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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