this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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