these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
